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For an unsurprisingly thorough nine-month investigation, Seattle police have arrested the owner of a ‘Sexpresso’ stand Java Juggs on suspicion of prostitution.

The 49-year-old owner of the coffee house is currently facing three counts of prostitution and one count of permitting prostitution, following the efforts of plainclothes police officers that took video recordings of bikini-clad baristas exposing their themselves for tips. Some people get the best jobs…

"It was really, from what I understand, quite simple," says Sgt. Don Anderson of the Edmonds police. "It wasn't a great deal of effort in getting these girls to expose themselves."

The investigation was first launched by Seattle’s Edmonds police force last October, though we’re hardly struggling to figure out why police took so long to make arrests.

"Tip the barista a ten or a twenty, the barista would say, 'Thank you, what did I do to deserve this?' It took very little dialogue for the barista to expose herself," Sgt Anderson added.

"Between exposing themselves for a fee and and then actually allowing customers to touch them or fondle them for money, that's the difference”.

In the notoriously crowded coffee marketplace of Seattle (home of Starbucks), vendors are known to resort to any lengths to entice customers – with rival coffee stands boasting such names as Cow Girls Espresso, XOXO Espresso and even T-n-A Latte (with the letters standing for ‘Tastefull N’ Appropriate’, obviously).

Police are monitoring all three Java Juggs stands in the state, while it is unclear yet as to whether the coffee house’s employees will face potential charges. We at JOE have pledged that we will get on a plane and do all we can to co-operate with the Edmonds police force’s vital investigations if necessary."